Dear Clients: What You Really Need to Know About Coping Tips & Tools

by Pamela L. Tippit, LPC-S

Lately, there’s been a common thread in therapy sessions with my clients. Whether someone is dealing with anxiety, relationship stress, or life transitions, a familiar question always pops up:

"Do you have any tips or tools to help me cope with this?"

And yes, I do! But the truth is, tips and tools only take you so far. Pivoting away from "the fix" mindset and shifting to creating and incorporating new habits, routines, and lifestyle changes discussed in session are the true keys to improved mental health.

There’s No Shortcut—Only Through

One of my core beliefs is that there is no way over, under, or around mental health struggles—there’s only through. Therapy is a space where we can talk, process, and identify strategies. But the real work? That happens outside of session.

Just like you can’t become a runner by watching a video or listening to someone talk about running, you can’t build emotional resilience or shift thought patterns without daily practice. You have to lace up and put in the miles. That’s what creates sustainable change.

A Word on Crisis and Clinical Diagnoses

Before we go further, let’s make something very clear:

Crisis situations and certain mental health diagnoses are exceptions to this message about buy-in and consistency.

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, suicidal thoughts, psychosis, or are living with serious clinical diagnoses such as major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, PTSD, or schizophrenia—this is not about whether you're “doing enough.”

In these circumstances, your nervous system and brain may not have access to the same level of motivation, insight, or functionality. This is not a failure on your part. You need and deserve appropriate support, which may include medical intervention, hospitalization, medication management, or structured care.

The expectation to “just use your tools” doesn't apply when you’re in survival mode.

You are not alone, and your healing journey may look very different—and that’s okay.

Ask Yourself the Hard Questions

For those outside of crisis, before you ask for another tip or tool, take a moment to reflect with honesty and curiosity:

• Are you taking ownership of the situation or issue? Or are you looking outside yourself to either place the onus elsewhere or get someone else to fix it for you?

• Are you managing your emotional account—your time, energy, and effort?

• Are you even checking your emotional account to see what resources you have and how they need to be allocated?

• Are you communicating your feelings, thoughts, needs, and wants positively, effectively, and clearly?

• Are you being 100% honest with yourself—and your therapist?

• Do you realize that improved mental health is not a quick fix? It's a long game that requires practice, habits, and long-term investment.

  
  

Your Mental Health Needs Daily Maintenance

Many of you who know me have heard my famous dental hygiene analogy.

Here it is again:

"Do you ever look at your teeth today and say, you know what? They look good today. I’m good. I’m not going to brush, floss, or go to the dentist again."

 Of course not, or at least I hope not! You know what would happen—your teeth would become a hot mess. It would show, it would hurt, and it would cost a lot to fix."

Unfortunately, people do this with their mental health all the time.

• “I’m good today.”

•  “Things aren’t that bad right now.”

•  “I’ll deal with it later.”

And then weeks or months pass, and the emotional plaque builds up. Things start to crack. The anxiety returns. Relationships are strained. The burnout sets in. And suddenly you’re back in session, asking how to fix it.

You want to know how to fix it?

Don’t stop brushing.

• You have to practice every day.

• You have to check in with yourself every day.

• You have to address your feelings consistently.

• You have to communicate consistently and clearly.

• You have to set and maintain boundaries—not too rigid, not too loose.

This is everyday work. Not just when there’s a crisis.

This Isn’t a Quick Fix—It’s a Long Game

Mental health isn’t a side project. It’s your whole self. Your relationships, your self-worth, your ability to be present—all of it depends on your willingness to stay engaged in the process.

So for all those folks asking for tips and tools on how to manage their mental health, hold on to this blog.

 Bookmark it.

 Read it again when you're tempted to check out.

And know this:

 I’ll say it again when you come into session, because this is what we who truly want to care for our mental health must embrace.

So... You Want to Be a Runner?

If you want to run—run.

 Not tomorrow. Not after one more podcast or tip.

Today. Right now.

Let’s get running, everyone.

With consistency and care,

Pam